Premier League weekend preview by GerryMcDonnell (Thursday, August 23, 2007)

Ding Dong, Merry Lee on High Technology is not always a blessing. The growth of industrial automation has led to a good friend of mine losing his job. I accept that the confectionary industry has every right to make the despatch of its products more cost-effective, but that doesn't help the out-of-work fudge-packer. Being a humanitarian, I've asked Dave to stay at my house for a while until he finds his feet; which coincidentally is a problem for the wife. The evil one nearly fainted when he moved his belongings in, as he was accompanied by a nine-foot long python. Even the fact that the reptile was visually impaired failed to calm her nerves, I had to constantly reassure her that she was in no danger from Dave's one-eyed snake. My pal has always had a soft spot for animals; he even cries when Blackburn have a player sent off. The wild Rovers face a tough trip to Goodison Park; I'll be in tears if it doesn't end in a draw at 9/4. Dave should try to get a job with the Premier League, as they abhor technology. Middlesbrough aren't complaining though; they managed to pull off the most blatant robbery at a Cottage since Fred Barras. If the officials are kind enough to allow Newcastle a goal when they put the ball over the line, they can leave the Riverside with three points at 19/10. Rafa Benitez deserves praise for the signing of Torres and the repositioning of Gerrard, but I remain wholly unconvinced by the goatee. I can't quite put my finger on what it reminds me of, but I know my mate Dave doesn't like it. I'm loving the 11/4 for a draw between Sunderland and Liverpool. It's not often you'll see 'Sven Goran Eriksson' and 'clean sheets' in the same sentence, but it's three wins out of three for the Manchester City manager without conceding a goal. Bookmakers have priced up Arsenal at a huge 4/6 as a result of Sven's perfect start: that's nap bet material. Chelsea players are being a little bit naughty in constantly haranguing the referee. John Terry is the worst culprit, he's definitely the master baiter. You have to like the 3/10 for a Chelsea win against Pompey; they'll win with a little something in hand. Antti Niemi is set to return for Fulham after recovering from a wrist injury; presumably picked up while playing against Robbie Savage. I don't think he'll enjoy his first game back, it'll prove something of an anticlimax. The Villa are a confident call at 5/6. It's been an awful start to the season for Bolton; they're as pointless as a salad bowl in Chez Lampard. Things are finally going their way now though; El Hadji Diouf wants to leave. Sammy Lee will be ecstatic if Bolton pick up their first points of the season at home to Reading. At 7/5, I'm priced in. Derby v Birmingham was a Championship match last season: there's a fair chance it will be a Championship match next season. I can't see past a draw at 9/4. Craig Bellamy withdrew from the Wales squad in midweek as his bint was dropping a little cash-grabber. On reflection, he probably should have withdrawn a little earlier. The even money for West Ham beating Wigan is worth staying in for. Manchester United have had 61 shots on goal in their three Premiership matches this season: Tottenham have Paul Robinson in goal. This is basic arithmetic. Man U are unmissable at 8/15. Spurs can consider themselves fortunate that Ronaldo received a three-match ban for violent conduct. My mate Dave thought the Portuguese winger got off lightly; he wanted to see his butt more severely punished. My cheeks will be red if this week's accer fails to oblige: Arsenal, Aston Villa, Bolton, West Ham and Manchester United will come to my rescue at an ostentatious 20/1. Weekend Betting: Sunderland v Liverpool Saturday 25th August 12:45 Live on Sky Sunderland 11/2 Draw 11/4 Liverpool 4/6 Get on: Draw Match Special: Chopra to score in a 1-1 draw 20/1 Arsenal v Man City Saturday 25th August 15:00 Arsenal 4/6 Draw 14/5 Man City 5/1 Get on: Arsenal Match Special: Van Persie to score two or more goals 6/1 Aston Villa v Fulham Saturday 25th August 15:00 Aston Villa 5/6 Draw 12/5 Fulham 4/1 Get on: Aston Villa Match Special: Carew to score in a 2-0 Villa win 12/1 Bolton v Reading Saturday 25th August 15:00 Bolton 7/5 Draw 9/4 Reading 23/10 Get on: Bolton Match Special: Bolton to win 1-0 or 2-1 10/3 Chelsea v Portsmouth Saturday 25th August 15:00 Chelsea 3/10 Draw 4/1 Portsmouth 14/1 Get on: Chelsea Match Special: Terry to score with a header 9/1 Derby v Birmingham Saturday 25th August 15:00 Derby 6/4 Draw 9/4 Birmingham 15/8 Get on: Draw Match Special: No goalscorer in the match 17/2 West Ham v Wigan Saturday 25th August 15:00 West Ham Evs Draw 12/5 Wigan 10/3 Get on: West Ham Match Special: Noble to score at any time 6/1 Everton v Blackburn Saturday 25th August 17:15 Live on Setanta Everton 11/10 Draw 9/4 Blackburn 14/5 Get on: Draw Match Special: Match to finish 0-0 or 1-1 11/4 Middlesbrough v Newcastle Sunday 26th August 13:30 Live on Setanta Middlesbrough 13/8 Draw 23/10 Newcastle 19/10 Get on: Newcastle Match Special: Viduka to score the first goal 13/2 Man Utd v Tottenham Sunday 26th August 16:00 Live on Sky Man Utd 8/15 Draw 3/1 Tottenham 6/1 Get on: Man Utd Match Special: Man Utd to score four or more goals 5/1 Labels: premier-league, Premiership, soccer-betting Posted by soccerbetting.info @ 8:22 AM

Premier League Weekend Preview by Gerry McDonnell (Thursday, August 16, 2007)

Why fight the hand that kneads you? The mobile phone has been heralded as a great invention, but I automatically frown upon any tool that encourages spousal interaction. I remember my feeling of angst as my circle of friend embraced the technological breakthrough. Even my old man joined in, and he's a complete technophobe; he once sold his television because a little fellow in the corner of the screen was making hand signals towards him. The wife shares my disdain for this evil apparatus. I really felt for her when she realised her fingers were too chunky for the keypad: she wasn't too upset though, she has the same problem with the landline. After several years of steadfast resistance, I finally caved. I'm now the proud owner of a phone that can take photos, record video, play music, cook dinner and nip down the offy; the only thing it can't do is make a telephone call without crackling like a pensioner. My decision to join the mobile revolution has paid off handsomely as I now have access to 'Frank TV'. I'm a real Lampard fan; I even subscribe to his popular video hosting website, YouTub. I'm looking forward to watching Frank strut his considerable stuff at Anfield on Sunday. Chelsea are an outstanding bet at 2/1 as Liverpool will be without their star performer from last week's win over the Villa; they'll really miss young Riley. Losing Wayne Rooney to a long term injury would normally be catastrophic, but when you have Carlos Tevez waiting in the wings, the blow is considerably softened. Tevez is almost a clone of Rooney, only without the excess fat; although I should congratulate her on landing her own TV show. Carlos is big enough and unquestionably ugly enough to nullify the loss of Rooney and Ronaldo, United must be backed at 4/5 to take the derby day honours. Jens Lehmann will still be seething after his opening day gaffe. The excitable German couldn't have looked more like a clown without a pair of giant shoes, a ginger wig and Fergie's nose. I'm raising a smile to the gargantuan 5/4 for an Arsenal win over Blackburn. Even though Bolton are pointless after two matches, the wife is convinced that Sammy Lee will stick with the same team for the trip to Fratton Park. I overheard her on the phone to her mother complaining that he's not big enough to touch the side. Pompey are a great shout at 10/11 to take advantage. I had to laugh when I heard Lawrie Sanchez accuse Arsenal players of simulation. Baird's challenge on Hleb was probably the most gratuitous trip since the Tony Blair era. I'm falling over the 5/4 for a Fulham win over the Boro. Roy Keane has launched an astonishing tirade against footballers' wives for wielding too much influence. What Roy fails to realise is that modern day relationships are a true partnership, where ideas are exchanged in a frank and open manner until the male gets knocked out. The 11/5 for a Sunderland win over Wigan is particularly tasty. Tottenham's transfer policy has left me decidedly perplexed. To spend £16.5m on what should be your 4th choice striker is particularly puzzling, especially when your midfield is in worse shape than Amy Winehouse. Derby have to be backed at 3/1 to take a point from the Lane. It's been announced that Joey Barton's trial for an alleged attack on a former team-mate will commence on October 4th. I'm guessing the six-week delay is to allow the prosecution enough time to catalogue his previous form. I can't wait to take the evens for a Newcastle win over Villa. I remember when Craig Bellamy found himself in the dock after a nightclub ruck with a young female reveller. One witness testified that he was so out of control, she struggled to pull him off: we've all been there after a few ales. A little punt on the Hammers leaving St Andrews with a point at 9/4 will prove uplifting. For Steve Coppell, an outbreak of '2nd season syndrome' is the greatest threat to the dressing room since 'bird flu', although in the interest of fairness, Bellamy was acquitted. Reading can repel the manger's fears by taking a point off Everton at 9/4. If my source is to be believed, Frank Lampard will be the next high profile footballer to be arrested. Senior police officials are considering charging him with possession of an offensive relative. Portsmouth, Fulham, Manchester United and Arsenal form a 15/1 weekend accer that will raise funds for my campaign to free the Chelsea 1 1/2. Weekend Betting: Portsmouth v Bolton Saturday 18th August 12:45 Live on Sky Portsmouth 10/11 Draw 23/10 Bolton 10/3 Get on: Portsmouth Match Special: Nugent to score with a header 6/1 Birmingham v West Ham Saturday 18th August 15:00 Birmingham 7/5 Draw 9/4 West Ham 15/8 Get on: Draw Match Special: Bellamy to score in a 1-1 draw 16/1 Fulham v Middlesbrough Saturday 18th August 15:00 Fulham 5/4 Draw 9/4 Middlesbrough 11/5 Get on: Fulham Match Special: Papa Bouba Diop to score at any time 5/1 Reading v Everton Saturday 18th August 15:00 Reading 6/4 Draw 9/4 Everton 15/8 Get on: Draw Match Special: No goalscorer in the match 17/2 Tottenham v Derby Saturday 18th August 15:00 Tottenham 1/2 Draw 3/1 Derby 15/2 Get on: Draw Match Special: Match to finish 1-1 or 2-2 9/2 Wigan v Sunderland Saturday 18th August 15:00 Wigan 5/4 Draw 9/4 Sunderland 11/5 Get on: Sunderland Match Special: Chopra to score two or more goals 10/1 Newcastle v Aston Villa Saturday 18th August 17:15 Live on Setanta Newcastle Evs Draw 12/5 Aston Villa 10/3 Get on: Newcastle Match Special: Newcastle to score three or more goals 4/1 Man City v Man Utd Sunday 19th August 13:30 Live on Sky Man City 4/1 Draw 12/5 Man Utd 4/5 Get on: Man Utd Match Special: Tevez to score direct from a free kick 9/1 Blackburn v Arsenal Sunday 19th August 15:00 Blackburn 5/2 Draw 9/4 Arsenal 5/4 Get on: Arsenal Match Special: Arsenal to score a penalty 9/2 Liverpool v Chelsea Sunday 19th August 16:00 Live on Sky Liverpool 6/4 Draw 11/5 Chelsea 2/1 Get on: Chelsea Match Special: Lampard to score from outside the penalty area 5/1 Labels: premier-league, Premiership, soccer-betting Posted by soccerbetting.info @ 8:52 AM

Premier League Weekend Betting Preview by Gerry McDonnell (Friday, August 10, 2007)

Live Free or Pie Hard When the wife was pregnant with little Goliath, she asked if I'd still find her attractive when she put on weight. "More weight," I instinctively corrected." It's perfectly understandable if a lady's weight yo-yo's after such a stressful event, but with the wife, it merely yo'd. There's no excuse for a Premiership footballer to ?tubby up' in such an outlandish fashion, so I hope there's no truth to the rumours emanating from Ewood Park. It's alleged that a number of senior pros became hooked on pie and mash during the summer break. If the word on the street is correct, the players were so fixated with this culinary abomination, they stored a substantial amount of Fray Bentos pies in the club canteen. Mark Hughes was understandably livid when he discovered the secret stash and immediately placed a lock on the freezer. Robbie Savage considered the manager's act a blatant violation of his civil liberties and threatened to leave the club if he wasn't granted immediate access to the forbidden pastries. Mark Hughes stood his ground though, and refused to release the pie-key. The 6/4 for Middlesbrough to open their campaign with a win over Blackburn is as delicious a treat as anything locked away in Sparky's freezer of shame. I was quite surprised when the news broke that Robert Earnshaw had joined Derby; the little Welshman obviously misunderstood when asked if he would like to join the Rams. Earnie can help Derby take a point off Pompey at 9/4. Roy Keane was a fierce competitor on the pitch: he went through more footballers than Gemma Atkinson. He'll need the same fighting spirit from his team when they face a formidable Tottenham side; I'm tucking in to the Spuds at 13/10. Newcastle have gone down the multinational road in their search for new signings. Big Sam has signed a Brazilian, a Spaniard, a Cameroonian, a Czech, an Aussie, an Englishman and a Scouser. It wouldn't surprise me if he made a move for the promising Russian international, Ivan Terbungoutofit. The Premier League computer has mischievously sent Newcastle to Bolton for their opening fixture; Big Sam has it in the bag at 2/1. I have a lot of faith in Andy ?Magic' Johnson, even though he's yet to master the ?staying on his feet' trick. I'll be making the 8/11 for an Everton win over Wigan disappear. If given the choice to play for Chelsea at Stamford Bridge or represent a George Bush 11 in Iran, I'd probably plump for the latter as the risk of injury diminishes significantly. Jose must be cursed; I'm taking Birmingham at 11/2 to snatch a shock draw. I'm finding it hard to pick a winner in the West Ham v Manchester City match. I asked the wife for her opinion, but she's also sitting on the fence. I'm now praying for the draw at 9/4, as I need funds for a new fence. Aston Villa supporters could not be happier with the progress made by Randy Lerner and Martin O'Neill. The giant may still be sleeping, but he's being poked with a pointy stick. Villa are overpriced at 3/1 to kick the season off with a win over Liverpool. Fulham fans must be devastated. Mohammed Al Fayed gave his manager the green light to sign established internationals; and Sanchez tucked him up on a technicality. The Cottagers have never won away at Arsenal; the Gooners are the weekend banker at 4/11. I was disturbed to read that Wayne Rooney has outrageously had his chest waxed. There's nothing wrong with connecting with your feminine side, but only when you're trying to find shelter for the little beard-hunter. There's nothing camp about the 1/4 for a Manchester United win over Reading. I just hope Ryan Giggs doesn't follow Rooney's lead, as the repercussions of dwindling wax reserves could prove catastrophic for small businesses. A little accer on Tottenham, Aston Villa, Arsenal and Manchester United at 13/1 will offer a lifeline to those most under threat. Weekend Betting: Sunderland v Tottenham Saturday 11th August 12:45 Live on Sky Sunderland 5/2 Draw 12/5 Tottenham 13/10 Get on: Tottenham Match Special: Berbatov to score the only goal of the game 28/1 Bolton v Newcastle Saturday 11th August 15:00 Bolton 6/4 Draw 9/4 Newcastle 2/1 Get on: Newcastle Match Special: Viduka to score at any time 5/2 Derby v Portsmouth Saturday 11th August 15:00 Derby 2/1 Draw 9/4 Portsmouth 6/4 Get on: Draw Match Special: Earnshaw to score in a 1-1 draw 20/1 Everton v Wigan Saturday 11th August 15:00 Everton 8/11 Draw 5/2 Wigan 5/1 Get on: Everton Match Special: Everton to win and keep a clean sheet 9/5 Middlesbrough v Blackburn Saturday 11th August 15:00 Middlesbrough 6/4 Draw 9/4 Blackburn 2/1 Get on: Middlesbrough Match Special: Tuncay to score the first goal 17/2 West Ham v Man City Saturday 11th August 15:00 West Ham 6/5 Draw 9/4 Man City 3/1 Get on: Draw Match Special: Match to finish either 1-1 or 2-2 7/2 Aston Villa v Liverpool Saturday 11th August 17:15 Live on Setanta Aston Villa 3/1 Draw 23/10 Liverpool 11/10 Get on: Aston Villa Match Special: Carew to score with a header 6/1 Arsenal v Fulham Sunday 12th August 12:00 Arsenal 4/11 Draw 4/1 Fulham 10/1 Get on: Arsenal Match Special: Arsenal to score four or more goals 4/1 Chelsea v Birmingham Sunday 12th August 13:30 Live on Sky Chelsea 2/9 Draw 11/2 Birmingham 16/1 Get on: Draw Match Special: Birmingham to score one goal or more 11/8 Man Utd v Reading Sunday 12th August 16:00 Live on Sky Man Utd 1/4 Draw 9/2 Reading 14/1 Get on: Man Utd Match Special: Tevez and Rooney both to score 5/1 Labels: premier-league, Premiership, soccer-betting Posted by soccerbetting.info @ 3:23 PM