Premier League weekend preview by Gerry McDonnell (Thursday, March 27, 2008)

My Big Fat Weak Wedding Marriage is like a chicken vindaloo, it's something you have to try at least once, even though you know you'll later regret it. I experienced my seven-year itch quite early, it was on the honeymoon. Fortunately, my wandering eye didn't lead to an act of betrayal, although I put that down to the fact that the barmaid was almost certainly a button-flicker. If newspaper reports are to be believed, Paul Jewell has allegedly been getting his bread sliced at a different bakery. We can all come into a little dough when Fulham beat Derby at 2.48. Cristiano Ronaldo has also 'entertained' a string of women over the past year, which probably explains why Sir Alex is demanding extra protection. I've been told that Ronaldo also has a large gay following; I can only assume that Cheryl has been overdoing it with the chip pan. Man U have won their last 13 matches against Aston Villa, I'll happily tuck into the 1.34 for another United win. Javier Mascherano will miss the Merseyside derby after a ridiculous sending-off against Manchester United last week. If we start dismissing players just for being annoying, Chelsea would have to play every game with eight men. Everton haven't won at Anfield this millennium, I'll be seeing red if Liverpool slip up at 1.84. A lack of respect for the referee is currently a hot topic, but it's going to be OK - Ian Wright has a four-step plan. I've solved the conundrum that is Chelsea v Middlesbrough; get on the baiters at 1.34. Birmingham City are at the heart of a corruption investigation, presumably for buying Liam Ridgewell. Manchester City have come out on top on their last four meetings with the troubled Blues; it'll be a scandal if Sven's men don't take all three points at 3.25. Gael Clichy is a lot like Ashley Cole. After tangling with Mido, the Arsenal full-back was left with an unwanted gash. I'll be half-cut when Arsenal bounce back against Bolton at 1.78. After using flimsy excuses for arriving late at training, Liam Miller has been placed on the transfer list. Roy Keane quipped, "Don't get in a car with Liam, because he has more car crashes than anyone I know." Paul Jewell won't find jokes about car accidents very amusing; his Mercedes was involved in a rear-ender. West Ham can dent Sunderland's survival bid by taking a point at 3.40. Emile Heskey has scored one goal in the last seven months, which is something of a purple patch for the clumsy striker. The big man is like Ashley Cole, he lacks confidence in the box. I'm more than comfortable with the 1.86 for a Pompey win over Wigan. Shane Long may be on his way out of Reading. The surly striker is unhappy with being fined a week's wages for throwing his shirt at his manager; it would have been a lot worse if Ashley Cole hadn't quickly picked it up. I refuse to turn my back on the 2.54 for a Reading win over Blackburn. If Tottenham do sell Berbatov in the summer, they should move to sign Ashley Cole and Shane Long. I believe Ashley would definitely be interested if Ramos promised to play three up front - especially if they're Long, Bent and Keane. I'll be riding the Tottenham train at 1.67 against Newcastle. Like Ashley Cole and Paul Jewell, I have often been tempted by the fruit of another, but the grass is not always greener on the other side. It's like the old saying: why go out for a burger, when you've got a fat cow at home. Arsenal, Fulham, Tottenham and Liverpool form a sure-fire 12.00 accer that will allow me the opportunity to reconsider my position. Posted by soccerbetting.info @ 11:05 AM

Premier League weekend preview by Gerry McDonnell (Thursday, March 20, 2008)

A Mini Weapon of Mass Destruction Even though I was brought up as a Catholic, I have never followed a spiritual path. I blame an over-zealous Priest for my descent into heresy; he was constantly on my back when I was young. If my memory serves me correctly, Easter is a time to reflect upon the resurrection of Christ. It's believed that after three days, He rose again. I don't want to diminish the significance, but I'd fancy Pele to beat that. The Geordies believe that King Keegan is the one true Messiah; it would be sacrilegious not to back Newcastle at 10/11 against Fulham. Jesus may have forgiven Robbie Keane for his petulant reaction to being substituted last weekend, but Juande Ramos was apoplectic. I have a lot of sympathy for Keane in this case; it's an emotional time when you're being pulled off. I'll happily play with the even money for a Tottenham win over Portsmouth. John Carew may not be scoring regularly on the pitch, but if press reports are to be believed, he's managed to bag 'Strictly Come Dancing' star Alesha Dixon. I've seen pictures of Alesha, and one bag may not be enough. I'll need a large container to carry home my winnings after Aston Villa see off Sunderland at 3/5. It's rare that I shower praise upon Steve Bruce, but his decision to drop Titus Bramble was outstanding. Bruce knows what it takes to become a top class defender; he played alongside Gary Pallister. 4/5 had been placed alongside a Blackburn win over Wigan. I'm on. Thaksin Shinawatra is not a happy man. The Thai 'businessman' has reportedly claimed that City are losing too many games in his absence, and he may have to tighten the bolt on his return. If I was Sven, I'd be worried. I'd be ringing up Ulrika, but I'd certainly be worried. Bolton can ensure the bolt is tightened with a win at 6/4. Middlesbrough will be without Mido after he saw red for kicking Gael Clichy in the head. The Egyptian should be ashamed of his actions, as should the players who gave him the lift up. Let's all rise to celebrate the 1/2 for a Middlesbrough win over Derby. I'm quite ashamed to admit that I have something in common with the impious Martin Taylor. We're both often referred to as 'tiny', although for Martin, it's an ironic reference. The 23/20 for a Reading win over Birmingham is healthily proportioned. It's great to see the West Ham production line coming up trumps once again. Freddie Sears looks a great prospect, but I'm not overly impressed with the 'Alan Shearer' goal celebration; it takes too long to kick Neil Lennon, creosote a fence and unsettle the Newcastle management. Everton are going for a treble over the Hammers this season, I have to play at 3/4. Steven Gerrard was upset when Rio Ferdinand claimed that Liverpool were not among the best teams in Europe. To be fair to Rio, he was misquoted - he meant to say that Liverpool were not among the best teams in England. Liverpool have lost their last four league meetings with their bitter rivals, and have failed to score in their last six. United can extend that run at 11/10. Chelsea meet Arsenal in the 2nd part of Grand Slam Super Mega Awesome Sunday, in a dress rehearsal for the Champions League semi-final. I've studied Chelsea's win ratio in the big games under Avram Grant, it didn't take long. Arsenal are turning into draw specialists, I'll happily take the 9/4 for a tie. Jesus would not be happy with the vitriolic abuse aimed at Heather Mills after her divorce from Paul McCartney. I look at is as a value gamble on Heather's part, she risked negative press and the occasional slap for a healthy financial settlement. I was quite surprised that she received as much as £24m; I think she must have shown the judge a little leg. Blackburn, Middlesbrough, Everton and a Chelsea draw form a 13/1 accer that will hopefully lead to an equally impressive return. Weekend Betting: Tottenham v Portsmouth Saturday 22nd March 12:45 Live on Sky Tottenham Evs Draw 5/2 Portsmouth 16/5 Get on: Tottenham Aston Villa v Sunderland Saturday 22nd March 15:00 Aston Villa 3/5 Draw 14/5 Sunderland 11/2 Get on: Aston Villa Blackburn v Wigan Saturday 22nd March 15:00 Blackburn 4/5 Draw 13/5 Wigan 4/1 Get on: Blackburn Bolton v Man City Saturday 22nd March 15:00 Bolton 6/4 Draw 23/10 Man City 2/1 Get on: Bolton Middlesbrough v Derby Saturday 22nd March 15:00 Middlesbrough 1/2 Draw 10/3 Derby 8/1 Get on: Middlesbrough Newcastle v Fulham Saturday 22nd March 15:00 Newcastle 10/11 Draw 12/5 Fulham 10/3 Get on: Newcastle Reading v Birmingham Saturday 22nd March 15:00 Reading 23/20 Draw 5/2 Birmingham 11/4 Get on: Reading Everton v West Ham Saturday 22nd March 17:15 Live on Setanta Everton 3/4 Draw 13/5 West Ham 4/1 Get on: Everton Man Utd v Liverpool Sunday 23rd March 13:30 Live on Sky Man Utd 11/10 Draw 23/10 Liverpool 10/3 Get on: Man Utd Chelsea v Arsenal Sunday 23rd March 16:00 Live on Sky Chelsea 5/4 Draw 9/4 Arsenal 12/5 Get on: Draw Labels: premier-league-betting Posted by soccerbetting.info @ 4:48 PM

Premier League weekend preview by Gerry McDonnell (Thursday, March 13, 2008)

There's life in the old dog ... unfortunately Like Wayne Rooney, I'm a lover of the old. I'm never happier than when some wrinkled old seaside-bungalow hogger is regaling me with tales of a bygone age. If my old man is to be believed, and he's not, football was completely different in the old days. Goals were celebrated by a handshake, an assault on a goalkeeper was practically encouraged and heading the ball led to a short stay in hospital, which was basically a shed with a sponge. I'm unsure of the best way of handling the elderly when they reach such a constant state of dull reflection, but only a fool should rule out euthanasia. It looks like Avram Grant will soon be put out of his misery; Sunderland can lend a helping hand at 7/1. Mohammed Al Fayed is another pensioner who appears to have lost the plot. He's gone from Coleman to Sanchez to Hodgson; he's only one step away from a Souness. Everton will make Fulham pay the ultimate price at 6/5. Time has also caught up with the once sharp Harry Redknapp. The technophobic manager's memory is in such a poor state, he's now being cordial to the BBC. The old people alliance will not be amused by this shock development. I'll be splitting my sides when the Villa leave Fratton Park with the win at 21/10. If Derby are dead and Fulham are dying, then Newcastle have just found a rather large mole. I can certainly empathise; I wake up next to a large lump every morning. A bet on Birmingham to beat Newcastle at 13/10 will lead to a substantial growth in the betting bank. Now that Rafa Benitez has finally came to his senses, Liverpool's results have improved dramatically. I can't think of anyone who was a fan of the rotation policy, other than Alex Gerrard. Liverpool and Torres are on fire, Reading will feel the heat at 2/7. I was not a happy bunny when Arsenal let me down for an accer last week. I haven't felt such intense disappointment since Maggie Thatcher was released from hospital. The Gunners will almost certainly make amends at 2/7 against a goal-shy Middlesbrough. I hold no grudge against Arsenal for their slip-up at Wigan: I know what it's like to be tucked up by an ugly pitch. Bolton will also struggle at the JJB, I'm siding with the draw at 23/10. If David Bentley was made of chocolate, he'd probably eat himself. That's something I would never do - I refuse to queue-jump. People will be lining up to back Blackburn at 2/1 against a struggling West Ham. I know pensioners enjoy a little whinge, but Sir Alex Ferguson took the art of complaining to a new level in last week's extraordinary post-match interview. For me, Fergie has been on a slippery slope since that Pikey punched him in the nuts; shame on you Mr Savage. Fergie will get revenge when United ease past Derby at 1/5. With old people, you have to be thankful for small mercies. I remember walking in on my old man as he watched Baywatch, and I was shocked to see his hand moving up and down on his lap. Fortunately, it was just Parkinson's. Tottenham are one win away from their 4th straight double over Manchester City; I'll be shaking if they fail to oblige at 9/5. I speak in jest at the plight of the elderly, but it's criminal that they have to live on such a pittance. I was left dumbstruck when I cashed in the old man's pension - I could only afford six cases of lager. Arsenal, Everton, Tottenham and Birmingham form a pleasing 16/1 accer that will allow me the opportunity to pay him back in full. Maybe. Weekend Betting: Derby v Man Utd Saturday 15th March 15:00 Derby 16/1 Draw 11/2 Man Utd 1/5 Get on: Man Utd Liverpool v Reading Saturday 15th March 15:00 Liverpool 2/7 Draw 9/2 Reading 12/1 Get on: Liverpool Portsmouth v Aston Villa Saturday 15th March 15:00 Portsmouth 7/5 Draw 9/4 Aston Villa 21/10 Get on: Aston Villa Sunderland v Chelsea Saturday 15th March 15:00 Sunderland 7/1 Draw 16/5 Chelsea 8/15 Get on: Sunderland West Ham v Blackburn Saturday 15th March 15:00 West Ham 6/4 Draw 23/10 Blackburn 2/1 Get on: Blackburn Arsenal v Middlesbrough Saturday 15th March 17:15 Live on Setanta Arsenal 2/7 Draw 9/2 Middlesbrough 12/1 Get on: Arsenal Fulham v Everton Sunday 16th March 13:30 Live on Sky Fulham 11/4 Draw 12/5 Everton 6/5 Get on: Everton Wigan v Bolton Sunday 16th March 15:00 Wigan 5/4 Draw 23/10 Bolton 12/5 Get on: Draw Man City v Tottenham Sunday 16th March 16:00 Live on Sky Man City 13/8 Draw 23/10 Tottenham 9/5 Get on: Tottenham Birmingham v Newcastle Monday 17th March 20:00 Live on Setanta Birmingham 13/10 Draw 12/5 Newcastle 12/5 Get on: Birmingham Labels: premier-league-betting Posted by soccerbetting.info @ 3:03 PM

FA Cup and Premiership betting weekend preview by Gerry McDonnell (Thursday, March 06, 2008)

Hairy Plotter and the Half-Blood Prince Like Martin Luther King and Gandhi, I'm a fan of passive resistance; but there are some things in life that we have to fight for. For me, it's a baby's smile, the love of a mute woman or more affordable prices at the petrol pump. It's to my deep and lasting regret that a serious injury prevented me from joining the military. I've been plagued with recurring back pain since childhood - it's never easy growing up in Jersey. Fortunately for the army, Prince Harry was able to stand up and fight for possible Grandmother and Country. His willingness to get his hands dirty shows real character; he's stuck two fingers up to those who question Germany's poor war record. Fulham's recent record is at an equally unhealthy level; they've only one won of their last eighteen battles. Blackburn will take no prisoners at 11/20. Now that the Rambo-like tax-dodger has returned from single-handedly destroying the Taliban, he'll be looking for an alternative career. Steve Coppell is apparently showing an interest; he appreciates a useless ginger hitman. I'll fire a few rounds off if Reading sneak a win over Manchester City at 6/4. Radio chat shows are really scraping the barrel for material. One recent topic up for debate was 'Why do West Ham fans dislike Frank Lampard'. I wasted 25 minutes trying to get through, and I only wanted to say four words. I'll be equally succinct in describing the 4/5 for a Tottenham win over West Ham: nap of the week. Michael Owen may have been written off more than Angus Loughran's debts, but he remains a top-drawer operator. Newcastle are available at 10/1 against a Liverpool side with one eye on the Champions League; I'm ashamed to say that I'm on the verge of being priced in. Cesc Fabregas returned to his incomparable best in midweek against Milan. I can't foresee any scenario where Wigan will be able to stop him, shy of hitting him over the head with a guitar or dropping a grand piano on him; but even then he'd remain instrumental. Arsenal just have to turn up to win at 8/13. Tim Cahill has been castigated for using a goal celebration to show solidarity with his imprisoned brother. I find the criticism over-the-top, it's not like he bent over and touched his toes - even I would be offended by the 'Barton shuffle'. I'll hit the dancefloor when Everton beat Sunderland at 5/4. The FA Cup reaches the quarter-final stage this weekend, allowing either West Brom or Bristol Rovers the opportunity to make an unexpected trip to Wembley. Personally, I hope it's the Albion fans who get to see the bright lights of London, as they consider a trip to Birmingham something of a cultural treat. The Baggies are a fair bet at 6/5. I hope Sir Alex Ferguson has calmed down after Arsenal's last-gasp leveller against Aston Villa last week. "It was the 95th minute of their usual seven minutes of injury time," whined the Scot, before launching a furious tirade at the blackness of a nearby kettle. United fans will be steaming when they knock Pompey out of the Cup at 4/11. The FA should hang their collective hands in shame after overturning Frank Lampard's red card against West Ham. I can only assume that they were frightened of Lampard demanding a personal hearing, which would have led to astronomical catering overheads. I'll happily tuck in to the 4/11 for a Chelsea win over Barnsley. It appears that Lampard was let off on a technicality - he plays for one of the big four. Jeremie Aliadiere represents Middlesbrough, so he was given a four match ban for replicating the actions of a Liverpool player - he regularly underperformed in the league. Boro will still have enough to ease past Cardiff at 7/10. Last week's accer never really got off the ground, but even Shakespeare made the occasional spelling mistake. I'm far more confident with this week's selections. Reading, Everton, Tottenham and Arsenal form a 14/1 accer of such noble virtue, even Prince Harry would happily go to war to protect it - if there was a camera crew in the vicinity. Weekend Betting: FA Cup Quarter Finals Man Utd v Portsmouth Saturday 8th March 12:45 Live on Sky Man Utd 4/11 Draw 4/1 Portsmouth 11/1 Get on: Man Utd Barnsley v Chelsea Saturday 8th March 17:30 Live on BBC Barnsley 12/1 Draw 7/2 Chelsea 4/11 Get on: Chelsea Middlesbrough v Cardiff Sunday 9th March 14:00 Live on BBC Middlesbrough 7/10 Draw 13/5 Cardiff 5/1 Get on: Middlesbrough Bristol Rovers v West Brom Sunday 9th March 18:00 Live on BBC Bristol Rovers 5/2 Draw 23/10 West Brom 6/5 Get on: West Brom Premier League Blackburn v Fulham Saturday 8th March 15:00 Blackburn 11/20 Draw 3/1 Fulham 11/2 Get on: Blackburn Liverpool v Newcastle Saturday 8th March 15:00 Liverpool 2/5 Draw 7/2 Newcastle 9/1 Get on: Newcastle Reading v Man City Saturday 8th March 15:00 Reading 6/4 Draw 9/4 Man City 2/1 Get on: Reading Sunderland v Everton Sunday 9th March 15:00 Sunderland 5/2 Draw 12/5 Everton 5/4 Get on: Everton Tottenham v West Ham Sunday 9th March 15:00 Tottenham 4/5 Draw 11/4 West Ham 7/2 Get on: Tottenham Wigan v Arsenal Sunday 9th March 16:00 Live on Sky Wigan 11/2 Draw 11/4 Arsenal 8/13 Get on: Arsenal Labels: fa-cup-betting, premier-league-preview Posted by soccerbetting.info @ 12:27 PM