Premier League weekend preview by Gerry McDonnell (Thursday, February 28, 2008)

As One Door Shuts...A Nutter One Opens For some inexplicable reason, the subject of mental illness remains taboo. I am convinced that if we debate the topic in a mature and sensitive fashion, we could raise awareness of the constant unnecessary stigmatisation of these unfortunate lunatics. I'm not embarrassed to admit that I used to regularly suffer from panic attacks. All it would take was an unexpected knock on the door, and I'd find myself screaming like Andy Cole's wife. Luckily, the attack would subside once I realised my other half hadn't arrived home from work early. As a result of my experience, I feel I'm in a perfect position to reflect upon Paul Gascoigne's descent into a fruitcake laden abyss. Looking back, all the clues were there: Gazza was fearful of an alien invasion, he was holding conversations with plastic parrots and he fancied Newcastle to beat Blackburn. The Rovers are the only sane betting choice at 19/10. I can't help but feel the media attempted to sensationalise Gazza's problems. It's not unusual for a man to cry during sex; as Joey Barton can confirm. I'll be incredibly sore if Middlesbrough fail to beat Reading at 9/10. It's been reported that Ashley Cole burst into tears when Cheryl surprisingly decided to reconcile with the incredibly wealthy reserve full-back. I'm guessing it's not the first time that a handkerchief has come in handy. I'm rubbing my hands together at the 5/2 for a draw between West Ham and Chelsea. Robbie Keane also bawled after Tottenham lifted the Carling Cup. I find the idea of a male showing such emotion quite distasteful; although if Birmingham beat Tottenham at 3/1, I'll cry like Liz Hurley's maid on pay day. To cap off a disgraceful week for the male race, William Gallas sobbed after kicking lumps out at an advertising hoarding. How surprising: a Frenchman and a pointless strike. Arsenal will demolish Aston Villa at 4/7. On a brighter note for Arsenal, Eduardo may return to action in as little as nine months. I have to confess to being surprised by the quick turnaround: I've been to Selly Oak hospital, and it normally takes seven months just to make it out of the waiting room. You should seek medical attention if you pass on the 4/5 for a Manchester City win over Wigan. It's not just the clinically insane and the cast of 'The Crying Game' who deserve our sympathy; our thoughts should also go out to players with learning disabilities. It's rumoured that Robbie Savage was the inspiration for 'Are you smarter than a 10 year old?' The genuinely bright will be taking 13/10 for a Sunderland win over Derby. I thought Wes Brown was a level (if somewhat orange) headed footballer, but he's clearly delusional if he believes he's worth £80,000 a week. That kind of money could fund research into psychiatric disorders for a number of years, or settle Wayne Rooney's tab at KFC. The 13/5 for Fulham avoiding defeat against Manchester United is finger-licking good. There were many people who believed that El Hadji Diouf may have had a serious mental illness, as he would often dribble more than Cristiano Ronaldo. I've been practically salivating over the 5/6 for a Liverpool win over Bolton. History is like an Alzheimer's sufferer, it will often repeat itself. The last time Everton finished 4th in the Premiership, their neighbours lifted the Champions League trophy for the 5th time. I fancy Everton to beat Pompey at 10/11, but I hope it doesn't lead to Liverpool fans holding up six fingers; that should really be left to the citizens of Coventry. Alzheimer's is the latest in a long list of illnesses to plague my father. I look back in fondness to the time when he was just a paranoid schizophrenic - it was nice that he had someone to talk to, even if he was out to get him. People use offensive labels such as 'nutter' to describe the mentally ill, but i refuse to pigeon-hole my old man; as he's also an agoraphobic. I'll definitely be going out when Arsenal, Middlesbrough, Sunderland and Liverpool land a healthy 10/1 accer. Weekend Betting: Arsenal v Aston Villa Saturday 1st March 15:00 Arsenal 4/7 Draw 3/1 Aston Villa 6/1 Get on: Arsenal Birmingham v Tottenham Saturday 1st March 15:00 Birmingham 3/1 Draw 5/2 Tottenham 21/20 Get on: Birmingham Derby v Sunderland Saturday 1st March 15:00 Derby 23/10 Draw 23/10 Sunderland 13/10 Get on: Sunderland Fulham v Man Utd Saturday 1st March 15:00 Fulham 9/1 Draw 4/1 Man Utd 4/11 Get on: Draw Middlesbrough v Reading Saturday 1st March 15:00 Middlesbrough 9/10 Draw 5/2 Reading 7/2 Get on: Middlesbrough Newcastle v Blackburn Saturday 1st March 15:00 Newcastle 6/4 Draw 12/5 Blackburn 19/10 Get on: Blackburn West Ham v Chelsea Saturday 1st March 15:00 West Ham 4/1 Draw 5/2 Chelsea 19/20 Get on: Draw Man City v Wigan Saturday 1st March 17:15 Live on Setanta Man City 4/5 Draw 13/5 Wigan 5/1 Get on: Man City Bolton v Liverpool Sunday 2nd March 13:30 Live on Setanta Bolton 7/2 Draw 13/5 Liverpool 5/6 Get on: Liverpool Everton v Portsmouth Sunday 2nd March 16:00 Live on Sky Everton 10/11 Draw 5/2 Portsmouth 7/2 Get on: Everton Posted by soccerbetting.info @ 1:11 PM

Premier League weekend preview by Gerry McDonnell (Thursday, February 21, 2008)

A Dodgy Ruby and a Stuffed Nan In a week where Mohammed Al Fayed has pointed an accusing finger at Tony Blair, the Nazis, Dracula and a crocodile, it seems odd that Richard Scudamore has emerged as football's leading figure of fun. When a friend told me that Scudamore planned to play a round of matches overseas, I thought it was the worst idea I'd ever heard - and I used to work in a nursery. I say 'worked', but it went down as 'loitering' on the charge sheet. The Chief Executive of the Premier League appears to have been influenced by Gordon Gekko's 'Greed is good' monologue from 'Wall Street'. I'd advise Scudamore against following in the footsteps of Michael Douglas, as he may have to fight off Welsh gold-diggers. Investing in the 8/11 for a Pompey win over Sunderland is a socially acceptable way of increasing your bankroll. The idea of 10 matches being televised back-to-back genuinely worries me, as I ritualistically indulge in a couple of beers during a game. There's no way I'll be able to drink 20 pints, unless i have to spend a night with Kelly Osbourne. I will happily indulge in a celebratory couple when Middlesbrough stun Liverpool at 17/2. Sir Alex Ferguson condemned his players for showboating in last week's FA Cup victory over Arsenal, but the unsavoury incident could have been a whole lot worse. Apparently, Wayne Rooney once kept it up with Nani for over two minutes. I'll definitely be paying for it if Manchester United fail to defeat the depleted Toon Army at 8/15. When it comes to cool celebrity support, Everton are way behind the likes of Manchester City. The Toffeemen tried to persuade Sylvester Stallone to give soccer a try, but he couldn't pull it off, which is quite ironic. I'll happily play with the 9/4 for a draw between Manchester City and Everton. Blackburn and Bolton have contested the mushy pea derby on 13 occasions in the Premier League, and the team playing at home has never emerged victorious. I'm going to lay Blackburn at 10/11 like it was a legless woman in a nightclub. That Heather Mills certainly knows how to celebrate. I find the political arena almost exclusively dull, but the revelation that the Home Secretary is an avid Aston Villa supporter genuinely attracted my interest. I have nothing but admiration for the way that Jacqui Smith can juggle her secretarial work with her homemaker duties. I hope she finds the time to back the Villa against Reading at a delightful 7/5. Playing a home match against Derby is like going on a date with Paris Hilton, you're confident that they'll roll over without much of a fight. Wigan are the fortunate beneficiaries of three easy points at 8/13. There is a direct correlation between a club's support and the coolness of the team's nickname. Aston Villa are the evil Villans, Tottenham are the boiling Spuds and Manchester United are the Red Devils. Who in their right mind would choose to be a Cottager? Ashley Cole knows that West Ham are a great bet at 9/5 to beat Fulham. The bigwigs at Chelsea are still understandably upset after a package containing white powder was delivered to their training ground. They've now ordered Frank Lampard to use sugar sachets like the rest of the squad. The last time Chelsea met Tottenham in a cup match, an irate Spud attacked Frank, which is the actual definition of irony. Chelsea came out on top on that occasion and I can only see a repeat at 11/10 in the Carling Cup final. The more i consider the potential benefits of the globalisation of the Premier League, the more appealing the idea becomes. The Chinese would be able to relegate the ping-pong ball to a late night entertainment spot, Australians could embrace a sport that doesn't involve shearing, and the Yanks would learn that real footballers refuse to wrap up like a suicide bomber in winter. I'll be going off on one if Arsenal fail to beat Birmingham at 8/15. There is currently an incredible amount of opposition to Scudamore's thought-provoking proposal, but nothing is insurmountable; with the obvious exception of Ruby Wax. Wigan, Manchester United, Chelsea and Aston Villa form an 11/1 accer that will hopefully remove that ghastly image from my recently tortured mind's eye. Weekend Betting: Birmingham v Arsenal Saturday 23rd February 12:45 Live on Sky Birmingham 7/1 Draw 10/3 Arsenal 8/15 Get on: Arsenal Match Special: Adebayor to score a hat-trick 22/1 Fulham v West Ham Saturday 23rd February 15:00 Fulham 17/10 Draw 9/4 West Ham 9/5 Get on: West Ham Match Special: Ljungberg to score in a 2-0 West Ham win 47/1 Liverpool v Middlesbrough Saturday 23rd February 15:00 Liverpool 4/9 Draw 7/2 Middlesbrough 17/2 Get on: Middlesbrough Match Special: Aliadiere to score the only goal of the game 110/1 Portsmouth v Sunderland Saturday 23rd February 15:00 Portsmouth 8/11 Draw 13/5 Sunderland 5/1 Get on: Portsmouth Match Special: Defoe to score two or more goals 9/1 Wigan v Derby Saturday 23rd February 15:00 Wigan 8/13 Draw 11/4 Derby 5/1 Get on: Wigan Match Special: Wigan to win and keep a clean sheet 7/5 Newcastle v Man Utd Saturday 23rd February 17:15 Live on Setanta Newcastle 13/2 Draw 3/1 Man Utd 8/15 Get on: Man Utd Match Special: Man Utd to score four or more goals 11/2 Reading v Aston Villa Sunday 24th February 12:30 Live on Sky Reading 21/10 Draw 9/4 Aston Villa 7/5 Get on: Aston Villa Match Special: Harewood to score at any time 3/1 Blackburn v Bolton Sunday 24th February 15:00 Blackburn 10/11 Draw 5/2 Bolton 4/1 Get on: Bolton Match Special: Nolan to score the first goal 16/1 Man City v Everton Monday 25th February 20:00 Live on Setanta Man City 7/5 Draw 9/4 Everton 11/5 Get on: Draw Match Special: No goalscorer in the match 8/1 Chelsea v Tottenham Sunday 24th February 15:00 Live on Sky Chelsea 11/10 Draw 23/10 Tottenham 14/5 Get on: Chelsea Match Special: Lampard to score from outside of the penalty area 11/2 Posted by soccerbetting.info @ 1:22 PM

FA Cup weekend preview by Gerry McDonnell (Thursday, February 14, 2008)

Strawberry Fields For Heather I absolutely despise Valentines Day. Conformity demands that I waste good money on a pointless gift and a meaningless card, even though the wife has spent the last 364 days of the year criticising me for being lazy. I'd happily dump her; but it's a lot of effort to find someone new. Paul McCartney has taken the brave step of officially ending his ill-fated relationship. For me, he's definitely made the correct decision, even if it does cost him an arm and a leg. While Paul and I understand that love is a complete fallacy, there are still a minority who believe in the romance of the FA Cup. The reality is that the minnows just make up the numbers until the trophy is lifted by one of the big 4, or Liverpool. Rafa Benitez has pointed the finger at the Yanks for their relegation from the elite. You can blame the Americans for many things: Middle East instability, nuclear war, terrorism, global warming, 9/11 and fat children, but they didn't rest Torres against Birmingham. I hope Rafa takes the FA Cup seriously, as I'm on the Reds at 1/5 against Barnsley. The liveliest atmosphere of the 5th Round will probably be at Coventry, where West Brom will be arriving with 8,000 screaming Yam Yams. I'll definitely be going out of my way to avoid Coventry this weekend; although the words 'this' and 'weekend' are pretty much superfluous. The Baggies look a fair shout at 7/5 to leave victorious. David James continues to surprise me. There were times when I thought he would prove a major liability; those times were 1990 ? 1996 and 1998 ? 2007. With Calamity in this kind of form, you have to believe that Preston have a tougher job on their hands than Helen Chamberlain's makeup artist. I'll be made up when Pompey advance at 10/11. It will be somewhat ironic if Middlesbrough put an end to Bryan Robson's managerial career. It was at the Boro where Robbo first made his name; I think it was 'Jim Beam'. Robson may well be interested in the odds for a Middlesbrough win over Sheffield United; 7/5 is a little short. Cardiff have come a long way since the Sam Hammam era, when new signings were contractually obligated to enjoy a physical liaison with a sheep. That controversial clause was widely criticised at the time, but it did lead to Franck Ribery asking for a trial. Things are a lot more stable at Ninian Park today; they have Peter Ridsdale in the boardroom. The chairman can buy another goldfish when the Bluebirds slaughter the Wolves at 11/8. Southampton will still be without a manger for their trip to Bristol Rovers. The Saints did try to rehire Glenn Hoddle, but he wanted to discuss his options with a likeminded friend, so he's waiting for Paul McCartney's divorce proceedings to end. I'll be on Bristol Rovers at 2/1 to see off the Saints; although I'll stay away from the handicap. After finding the net in his last nine matches, Emmanuel Adebayor will be hoping to reach a perfect 10 against Manchester United. I'm not normally one to boast, but I once dated a German girl who was very close to being a '10'. She was extremely arrogant though: she knew she was a '9', and she wouldn't shut up about it while making love. I'm screaming about the 9/4 for a draw between Manchester United and Arsenal. Like Helga, Avram Grant always appears deeply unhappy. As an Israeli, Grant has seen some distressing sights through the years, although nothing could prepare him for the picture of the hairdresser who gave Ashley Cole a little trim. I'll throw up if Chelsea fail to beat Huddersfield at 1/10. For Cheryl Cole and Heather Mills, Valentines Day will be a depressing affair. My wife will be genuinely excited though, as she loves to eat a mountain of chocolate on this special occasion - it's a weekday. Cardiff, Chelsea, Liverpool, Middlesbrough and Portsmouth form a 12/1 accer that will allow me to purchase an extra large bar of Toblerone. Labels: fa-cup-betting Posted by soccerbetting.info @ 12:41 PM

Premier League weekend preview by Gerry McDonnell (Thursday, February 07, 2008)

Wayne drops keep falling on my head I am no stranger to a lazy stereotype. I'm half-Irish and I'm married to a Scot, so some people believe we stay at home all day smoking crack and peeling potatoes; which is only half true. It could be worse though, I could be bald. Britney Spears was considered a wholesome entertainer when she had flowing locks; but the moment she showed solidarity with the follicly challenged, the authorities took her children away. It's not just tubby Americans who persecute the hairless. When Andy Johnson had a little decoration on his head, he was awarded penalties and his goals were allowed to stand; now he's shunned like Lewis Hamilton on a weekend trip to Majorca. Personally I think it's a case of raging gingerism, as baldness is their only legitimate hope of a life free or mockery. I'll make a stand against these peladophobic gingerphobes by supporting AJ's Everton at 4/7 against a struggling Reading. Ryan Babel is another player who deserves our sympathy. Rafa perplexingly continues to bench the flying Dutchman: the only way he'll be promoted to a starter is if he bumps into Frank Lampard. Chelsea will devour the struggling Reds at a mouthwatering 11/10. Harry Redknapp has hit the jackpot with the signing of Jermain Defoe. The Pompey manager is just like King Midas - it's believed that the King's son was a real nause. I'll be droning on endlessly about the 9/4 for a draw between Bolton and Portsmouth. Derby were a lot less successful with their attempts at January shopping. Paul Jewell signed Laurent Robert on a free transfer; I think he overpaid. Tottenham are the weekend banker at 8/13 against the awful Rams. Birmingham were dealt a knockout blow by a player named Villa last week, so it was a typical Derby match. It's just one win in eleven matches now for the Blues; West Ham look a great shout at 17/20 to increase the pressure on the Big Eck. Premier League attendances now average 36,000 a match, which is a 50 year high. The figure would have threatened the 40,000 mark, if it wasn't for Middlesbrough. One man and his dog will see Boro destroy Fulham at 10/11. Roy Keane will be looking forward to reuniting with Steve Bruce, as they haven't seen each other since filming Cinderella. I'll turn into a pumpkin if Sunderland fail to oblige against Wigan at 23/20. The loss of Agbonlahor will be a massive blow for Aston Villa. Gabby has aggravated a hamstring - he accidentally knocked his pint over. The return of Young will soften the blow for the Villans; the tactically shrewd Martin O'Neill will bamboozle Kevin Keegan's Toon Army at 10/11. A hamstring injury has also ruled the influential Tomas Rosicky out of Arsenal's match against Blackburn. Rosicky is known as 'little Mozart', due to his ability to orchestrate the midfield. Personally, I'm a big fan of Chopin: I often buy a big bag of potatoes. I can definitely handle the 4/11 for an Arsenal win over Blackburn. After a protracted saga, Manchester City have finally signed Benjani, and I can claim with little fear of contradiction that Pompey's loss is Manchester City's loss. An Elano-less, Benjani-full City will almost certainly lose out to Manchester United at 1/3. Wayne Rooney will miss the Manchester derby after receiving a booking for hurling his considerable weight to the ground last week in an alleged act of simulation. Rooney would never cheat, so I can only conclude that the referee cautioned him for his ginger stubble and an increasingly receding hairline. Aston Villa, Tottenham, Everton, Middlesbrough and West Ham form not only an outstanding 16/1 accer; it's also a symbol of hope for our continually oppressed pool-ball headed brothers. Weekend Betting: Aston Villa v Newcastle Saturday 9th February 12:45 Live on Sky Aston Villa 10/11 Draw 5/2 Newcastle 7/2 Get on: Aston Villa Match Special: Ashley Young to score direct from a free kick 10/1 Bolton v Portsmouth Saturday 9th February 15:00 Bolton 8/5 Draw 9/4 Portsmouth 15/8 Get on: Draw Match Special: No goalscorer in the game 8/1 Derby v Tottenham Saturday 9th February 15:00 Derby 11/2 Draw 3/1 Tottenham 8/13 Get on: Tottenham Match Special: Berbatov and Keane both to score 5/1 Everton v Reading Saturday 9th February 15:00 Everton 4/7 Draw 3/1 Reading 6/1 Get on: Everton Match Special: Andy Johnson to score two or more goals 6/1 Middlesbrough v Fulham Saturday 9th February 15:00 Middlesbrough 10/11 Draw 12/5 Fulham 7/2 Get on: Middlesbrough Match Special: Alves to score the first goal 4/1 Sunderland v Wigan Saturday 9th February 15:00 Sunderland 23/20 Draw 23/10 Wigan 13/5 Get on: Sunderland Match Special: Kenwyne Jones to score with a header 11/2 West Ham v Birmingham Saturday 9th February 15:00 West Ham 17/20 Draw 13/5 Birmingham 7/2 Get on: West Ham Match Special: Ljungberg to score at any time 4/1 Man Utd v Man City Sunday 10th February 13:30 Live on Sky Man Utd 1/3 Draw 4/1 Man City 12/1 Get on: Man Utd Match Special: Ronaldo to score from outside the penalty area 9/2 Chelsea v Liverpool Sunday 10th February 16:00 Live on Sky Chelsea 11/10 Draw 9/4 Liverpool 7/2 Get on: Chelsea Match Special: Anelka to score the only goal of the game 25/1 Arsenal v Blackburn Monday 11th February 20:00 Live on Setanta Arsenal 4/11 Draw 7/2 Blackburn 12/1 Get on: Arsenal Match Special: Adebayor to score a hat-trick 20/1 Posted by soccerbetting.info @ 2:50 PM