PREMIER LEAGUE Weekend PREVIEW by Gerry McDonnell (Friday, November 17, 2006)

I pity the Newell It's easy to say the wrong thing. When the wife told me she'd received a fine for not wearing a seatbelt, I probably shouldn't have responded with; "Why's that then? Wouldn't it fit?" Mike Newell is in a similar boat. His controversial views on female officials have landed him in a spot of bother; but in my opinion, there could well be a nail with a pounding headache. It's unfair to ask a woman to make crucial decisions less than 24 hours after an episode of Emmerdale. All joking aside, Amy Rayner is more than capable. If I had to mark her performance using the binary scale, I'd give her '1'. Is it a coincidence that Spurs are wearing a chocolate coloured kit now that women are running the line? (A lady will be less inclined to flag for offside if they're contemplating a large dairy milk.) If you're not cynical about the situation, you probably haven't thought it through. There's no need to ponder for too long on the outcome of the Blackburn v Tottenham match. Be a smarty; eat up the 8/5 about a home win. Alan Pardew and Jose Mourinho are the undisputed kings of the goal celebration. Let's hope there's not a lady lino on duty when Chelsea face West Ham, or it could turn into a scene from 'Saturday Night Fever'. The champions have too much for the Hammers; their title hopes will be stayin' alive at 1/4. Jose Mourinho has had a pop at the Chelsea fans, he's accused them of being quieter than El Hadji Diouf's wife. Chelsea supporters will have plenty to sing about if they cover the 2-0/3-0 correct scores at 5/2. The word on the street is that Frank Lampard is to be offered a new deal worth £130,000 a week; that buys a whole lot of chicken wings. The Lamp has found the net in three of his last five games; he's worth a nibble at 13/8 to score against his former employers. It's fair to say that Iain Dowie made an absolute 'Desert Orchid' of the Charlton job; sorry, I meant 'dog's dinner'. Charlton are bottom of the table and haven't won in Reading for 25 years, the Royals should be backed at a majestic even money. Finding Michael Jackson babysitting work is tough, finding Mike Newell a job at the equal opportunities commission is even tougher, but finding a winner in the Everton v Bolton match is proving nigh impossible. I can't see past the draw at 9/4. Sir Alex was far from happy when news broke that Keith Hackett had arranged a meeting with Jose Mourinho. Fergie's voice reached such a high pitch, Mike Newell wanted him removed from the touchline. United have won on their last three visits to Bramall Lane without conceding a goal, I fancy a repeat at 11/10. Gareth Southgate has led Boro up to 13th place in the Premiership, which makes him over-qualified for the position of England manager. Liverpool have won only two of their last eight league match-ups with Middlesbrough, and both of those were at Anfield. The Boro look a corking investment at 12/5 to triumph at the Riverside. With the managerial merry-go-round now under way, Stuart Pearce must be sweating like Mike Newell at a feminist convention. Fulham must be backed at 12/5 to see off Man City. The wife hates it when i make patronizing comments; the poor little lamb gets ever so upset. You'll be screaming if you miss Aston Villa at 2/1 away to Wigan. Let me just clarify, I am not a sexist; I enjoy conversations about cushions. Everybody's talking about the 4/6 on offer for Pompey at home to Watford; it's as tasty as a chicken tikka masala. I'm loving Arsenal at 1/3 at home to Newcastle. The argument for this week's accer is so convincing, Mike Newell is reconsidering his hard-line stance on women's rights. Arsenal, Chelsea, Portsmouth, Reading and an Everton draw are the five selections; you have the right to collect at a bra-burning 15/1. Weekend Betting: Man City v Fulham Saturday 18th November 12:45 Live on Premiership Plus Man City 6/5 Draw 9/4 Fulham 12/5 Get on: Fulham Match Special: Papa Bouba Diop to score with a header 9/1 Arsenal v Newcastle Saturday 18th November 15:00 Arsenal 1/3 Draw 4/1 Newcastle 10/1 Get on: Arsenal Match Special: Henry to score two or more goals 11/4 Chelsea v West Ham Saturday 18th November 15:00 Chelsea 1/4 Draw 9/2 West Ham 14/1 Get on: Chelsea Match Special: Frank Lampard to score from outside the penalty area 10/3 Everton v Bolton Saturday 18th November 15:00 Everton 13/10 Draw 9/4 Bolton 2/1 Get on: Draw Match Special: No goalscorer in the game 8/1 Portsmouth v Watford Saturday 18th November 15:00 Portsmouth 4/6 Draw 5/2 Watford 9/2 Get on: Portsmouth Match Special: Pedro Mendes to score at any time 5/1 Reading v Charlton Saturday 18th November 15:00 Reading Evs Draw 9/4 Charlton 3/1 Get on: Reading Match Special: Reading to win and keep a clean sheet 2/1 Sheff Utd v Man Utd Saturday 18th November 15:00 Sheff Utd 8/1 Draw 7/2 Man Utd 4/11 Get on: Man Utd Match Special: Saha to score two or more goals 3/1 Middlesbrough v Liverpool Saturday 18th November 17:15 Live on Premiership Plus Middlesbrough 12/5 Draw 9/4 Liverpool 6/5 Get on: Middlesbrough Match Special: Middlesbrough to win 1-0 8/1 Wigan v Aston Villa Sunday 19th November 13:30 Live on Sky Wigan 6/4 Draw 9/4 Aston Villa 2/1 Get on: Aston Villa Match Special: Chris Sutton to score the first goal 8/1 Blackburn v Tottenham Sunday 19th November 16:00 Live on Sky Blackburn 8/5 Draw 9/4 Tottenham 2/1 Get on: Blackburn Match Special: McCarthy to score the only goal of the game 33/1 Posted by soccerbetting.info @ 6:27 AM << Home